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Paano Magsabi ng No” sa mga kamag-anak

Mahilig bang mangutang sa iyo ang mga kamag-anak mo?
Ok lang sana magpahiram kung marunong magbayad ng utang.

Madalas kung ikaw ang magpaalala, sila pa ang galit. At nakaka-pressure din ito dahil hindi mo na din alam kung papaano sila hihindian sa mga susunod na pagkakataon.

Dumating ka na siguro sa punto na ayaw mo na magpautang at gusto mo na silang sabihan na hindi ka na magpapautang sa kanila, lalong lalo na kung para lang sa kanilang mga luho. Pero may pumipigil sa iyo. And most likely, “utang na loob” ang pumipigil sayo, hindi ba?

Maaaring malaki ang naitulong sa iyo ng iyong kamag-anak before, kaya ngayon na ikaw naman ang nakaka-angat sa buhay ay gusto mo din ipakita sa kanila ang iyong suporta. And at the back of your mind, nag-aagaw ang iyong isipan kung tutulungan mo sila o hindi?

Para magkaroon ka ng kaliwanagan ng pag-iisip, let me share with you some tips to help you decide:

ANG PAGTANAW NG UTANG NA LOOB AY MAY HANGGANAN
Don’t be fooled sa nakagawian na nating mga Pilipino na kailangan nating palaging tumanaw ng utang na loob. Okay naman ang pagtanaw ng utang na loob, pero meron din itong limits and boundaries. Once ito ay lumampas na sa linya ng panga-abuso, ibang usapan na yon.

Paano ko malalaman kung ito ay inaabuso na? Simple. Nai-stress ka na ba? Hindi mo alam kung ano ang sasabihin mo? Kahit wala kang kakayahan, napipilitan ka ng manghiram para lang may maibigay ka. Kung nararanasan mo na ang mga ito, this is the time na you need to step on the brake. You need to stop sa ilusyon na habangbuhay kang magbabayad ng utang na loob because if you don’t, pwede ka pa maging masamang tao at sabihan na walang utang na loob. As a matter of fact, if you continue to support their wrong lifestyle, baka mapahamak pa sila.

“Ipahamak? Sobra naman at yun, Chinkee. Tumutulong ka na nga, paano mo masasabi na sila ay mapapahamak?”

ANG “PAGTULONG” AY HINDI LAGING NAKAKATULONG
Oo, ipahamak. Kung iniisip mo na ang iyong palaging pagpapa-utang sa iyong kamag-anak ay nakakatulong sa kanila, nagkakamali ka.

Kung makasanayan nila na parati kang nandyan para tulungan sila lalong lalo na dahil may utang na loob kang tinatanaw, you???re just leading them to a life of financial bondage and overdependence sa iyo.

Wala na silang gagawing ibang diskarte kundi ang pagdiskarte sa kung paano ka nila uutangan next time. Sa tingin mo ba ay helpful yun para sa kanila? Kampante ka ba na hindi naghahanap-buhay ang kamag-anak mo dahil may inaasahan naman silang pera sayo? Nandyan ka naman parati para “tulungan” sila?

Ang pagtulong sa mga nangangailangan ay mabuting gawa. Pero once na ang iyong “tulong” na lang ang inaasahan nila, that???s the time na maging matapang ka to say the two-letter word na hindi ka komportableng sabihin. Say NO to your kamag-anak because you may not realize it, but that would be the most helpful thing na magagawa mo para sa kanila.

THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Know your boundaries, kung hanggang saan ka lang tatanaw ng utang na loob.
Pag nag-cross ang iyong mga kamag-anak sa boundaries na yun, at umaabuso na sila, say NO.
Because saying no may be the most helpful thing na magagawa mo para sa kanila.

Napakadali Magpautang pero Napakahirap Maningil

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