Pangarap natin lahat na magkaroon ng masayang relationship, lalo na ang mag-asawa.
Sabi nga diba sa wedding vows, “For richer or for poorer …” Pero nung nagkaroon lang ng financial problems, naghihiwalayan na.
Napakadaling mangako, pero napakahirap panindigan ang pangako…Kaya kapag dumating ang pagsubok, mas madaling kumuha ng martilyo at ipako na ang pangako.
Pero bakit nga ba nauuwi sa hiwalayan at iwanan ang mga relationships?
Ayon sa aking mga counselling sessions at mga marriage experts ang isa sa cause ay ang …
SELFISHNESS
Nagsimula tayo dito sa mundo bilang mga SANGGOL na hindi pa marunong maging concerned sa ibang tao, kundi ang sarili lang. Human instinct for survival na iisipin po ang kanyang sarili.
And most people fail to OVERCOME that stage at hindi natuto on how to consider other people.
Kaya once na pumasok sa relationship, ang thinking ay, “Mahal ko ‘tong tao na ‘to dahil napapasaya niya AKO.”
At first, there’s nothing wrong with that. Pero pag ang ultimate reason mo why you love that person is because of what that person can give YOU, malamang hiwalayan ang susunod na kabanata once na mag fail siya na ma-meet ang needs mo? Eh di, wala nang FOREVER.
We have to remember that once we are in a relationship, we have to change our mindset from “ME” to “WE“. It’s not just about us, it takes two to tango.
Another factor is …
COMMUNICATION
Sasabihin ng isa, “Honey, anong problema?”
Sagot naman ng isa, “Wala. Okay lang ako.” Pero ang talas ng pananalita, nanlilisik ang mata, at umuusok pa ilong.
Because of differences, hindi talaga maiiwasan ang misunderstanding. Pero kung hindi magiging HONEST ang bawat isa in sharing what they truly feel, madadagdagan lang lalo and this is one one of the causes of misunderstanding.
Ang iba naman, open na open nga sa pag-share ng nararamdaman pero para bang nasa DIGMAAN at kung makapagsalita ay parang pinapasabugan lang ng bomba ang kalaban.
Nalilimutan na hindi naman kaaway ang kausap kundi dapat ay KARAMAY sa lahat ng problema. You are there not to hurt and compete with one another but to love, protect and complement one another.
PARTNER dapat ang turingan, laging nagtutulungan. Hindi katunggali na dapat lagi mong matalo sa laban.
At isa pang dahilan is …
WRONG PRIORITIES
Uunahin pa minsan makipag-bonding sa mga barkada.
Uunahin pang i-consider ang suggestion ng iyong magulang.
Uunahin pang tapusin lahat ng trabaho kaysa sa oras para sa pamilya.
Kaya ang ending, HULI sa listahan ang asawa.
Pero dapat, ang KASUNOD sa Diyos ay ang asawa. Oo, nakakamiss ang halakhakan ng kabarkada. Oo, dapat nirerespeto ang mga magulang. Oo, kailangan tapusin ang trabaho para sa pamilya.
Pero huwag nating kaligataan na may PANGANGAILANGAN din ang ating asawa.
Those are three common reasons why people fail in relationships. Kaya kung gusto mong magkaroon ng successful relationship, always remember to do these things:
Be a GIVER and not a TAKER. Be OPEN about what you feel and be GENTLE while sharing. Be always AVAILABLE for your spouse despite of circumstances.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Is your relationship failing?
Ano sa tingin mo ang ugat nito?
What will you do to save your relationship?
Chinkee Tan is a famous motivational speaker in the Philippines. At the same time, he is a husband to his beautiful wife, Nove Ann and a father to three amazing children. He specializes in topics such as personal development, building and strengthening relationships and financial management to name a few. To this day, he continues to inspire thousands of people through his books, free business seminars in the Philippines, social media and being invited to be a motivational corporate speaker to different organizations.
Did this article help you? You can also check these related articles on strengthening your relationship:
- WHEN WE’RE HUNGRY, LOVE WILL KEEP US ALIVE
- How To Handle Jealousy
- Happy Wife Happy Life 2
Chinkee Tan is a Wealth Coach, Keynote Speaker, and Best-selling Author on personal finance and wealth management. He has written 16 best-selling books and counting. His mission is to equip millions of Filipinos to be free from financial stress & experience financial freedom.