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Sobrang Matulungin Now, Pulubi Later

huwag sobrang matulungin now pulubi naman later

Naranasan mo na bang akuin ang problemang pinansyal ng iba?
Hindi naman ikaw ang nangutang, nanghiram, o hinahabol, pero ikaw ang nag-aayos?

Sobrang stressed ka na ba dahil dito?
Ipinagmamalaki ko ang kulturang nakagisnan natin na may malasakit sa mga mahal sa buhay.
Pero meron din naman tayong tinatawag na SOBRANG MATULUNGIN na hindi nakakabuti, lalo na kung wala nang naiiwan sa pinaghirapan natin.

Paano mo malalaman na sumosobra na?

  • Nangungutang para may maipa-utang.
  • Binabayaran at inaako ang problema ng iba.
  • Nahihirapang tumanggi kahit walang-wala na.
  • Bigay nang bigay kahit sagad na.

Bakit nga ba may mga taong SOBRANG MATULUNGIN, to the point na nakakalimutan na nila ang kanilang mga sarili?

UTANG NA LOOB

Ito siguro ang pinakamahirap bayaran.
Ito ay isang klase ng utang na walang hangganan.
‘Ni hindi mo malaman kung kailan ka makakabayad ng buo rito.

Ang tanong ko na lang sa mga taong may ganitong klase ng utang: kailan ito matatapos?

HINDI MAKA-HINDI

Ang alam mo lang sabihin ay oo. Hindi ka marunong tumanggi at humindi.
Yes ka na lang nang yes dahil natatakot ka na baka may masabi silang hindi maganda tungkol sa iyo.
At para wala silang masabi, kagat-labi ka na lang – kahit labag ito sa kalooban mo.

Tinitiis mo na lang ang kahirapan para lumigaya ang ibang tao.

GIVING “TOO MUCH”

Okay lang naman tumulong, basta huwag lang labis-labis.
Look, I emphasized on the word “TOO”. Why is that?

Minsan kasi, bigay tayo nang bigay kahit way beyond our capacity or what we can only afford na.
Akala kasi natin, ‘yun lang ang paraan para makatulong tayo. But it???s not.

Remember the Chinese proverb that says, “give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime”?

Ibig sabihin, huwag natin silang hayaang sumahod lang sa biyaya. Instead, give them advice, teach, or educate them on how to succeed para ma-motivate din sila to do the same thing and produce their own bread and butter.

Kaya ang ending nito…

MAKAKALIMUTAN ANG SARILING PANGANGAILANGAN

  • Gustong mag-ipon, pero laging nagpapahiram sa iba ng pera.
  • Gustong mag-invest, pero kulang ang pondo dahil lumapit ang isang kaibigan.
  • Gustong magtayo ng business, pero naubos ang capital dahil pinambayad sa utang ng kapatid.

A lot of opportunities will be lost kapag patuloy tayong nag-all out sa pangangailangan ng iba. Set your priorities first and just offer what you can, nang hindi nasasakripisyo ang sarili.

“Hindi ba parang ang damot ko?”

Absolutely not. Lahat tayo ay binigyan ng pagkakataong makapagtrabaho at humanap ng diskarte. Allow them to learn on their own.

OTHERS BECOME DEPENDENT ON YOU

“Ma, wala nang pang-tuition ang anak ko.”
“Sige, ako na ang bahala.”

“Friend, may utang kasi ako sa credit card. Tulungan mo naman ako.”
“Sige na nga. May extra pa naman ako dito.”

“Baka meron kang kaunti diyan? Pambayad ko lang ng kuryente???t tubig?”
“Na naman? Ano ba ‘yan. O, eto.”

Kung mapapansin natin, mapagbigyan lang ng isang beses ang iba, pwede na silang maging abusive at lalapit nang lalapit sa iyo.

Ang nangyayari tuloy…

  • Wala nang naiipon.
  • Nangungutang na tayo para may ipautang sa iba.
  • Tayo ang naghihirap habang ang iba ay maginhawa.

STRESSFUL LIFE

Hindi ka na makatulog ng mahimbing.
Alam mo kasi na wala ka nang matatanggap na sweldo dahil sa dami ng kaltas.
Hindi mo na rin alam kung paano haharapin ang mga taong pinagkakautangan mo.

Ang ending? You’ll live a very unproductive and stressful life.

Again, hindi masamang tumulong at may ipahiram. Pero kung ikaw ang masasagad, matuto ka namang tumanggi!

THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.

Sino ang mga kadalasang tinutulungan mo pagdating sa finances?
Sa paanong paraan mo sila pwedeng tulungan nang hindi nauubos ang budget mo?
Are you willing to teach them how to fish, instead of giving them fish?

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