May diskarte ba yung asawa mo na hindi ayon sa iyong panlasa?
May mga desisyon ba siya na hindi kayo nagkakaisa?
Ito ba ay magdudulot na ng matinding stress at di pagkakaunawaan sa inyong pagsasama?
May mga pagkakataon na gusto natin na tayo lang ang masusunod. Gusto natin akuin na lang ang mga desisyon na gagawin, imbis na hayaan natin ang ating asawa to help us. Imibis na magtulungan, madalas nauuwi sa sumbatan at bangyayan.
Hindi man natin batid ay maaaring makasira sa ating marriage ang ganitong set up. Bakit? Ang pagmamaliit at hindi pagsasangguni ay isang pangitain na wala tayong tiwala sa ating kabiyak.
God has ordained men to be the head and to lead the family.
Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands.
But this doesn’t mean na wala ng karapatan magkaroon ng voice o suggestions ang mga asawang babae.
On the other hand, husbands are commanded to love their wives as they love themselves. In other words, hindi mo rin mamaliitin at hihiyain ang inyong sarili. Huwag din natin maliitin at hiyain ang ating asawa.
So ano ang dapat nating gawin para maging maging maayos ang inyong pagsasama?
Every time na mananaig sa iyo ang pag-ako ng mga gawain or decisions, remind yourself of these things:
YOU ARE A TEAM
God wants you to be a player of one team–hindi ng magkaibang team!
Hindi kayo ang magkatunggali, kayo ang magkakampi.
Hindi na kailangan talunin ng kabilang koponan ang iyong team kung hindi kayo nagkakaisa. Kung may alitan, awayan, sumbatan, sakitan ng kalooban, hindi kayo magwawagi.
I believe that God wants your family to be fruitful pero mangyayari lang yun kung kayo mismong magasawa ay magtutulungan at aakto na iisa lang ang team na pinagsisilbihan.
Kung may mga diskarte man ang asawa mo na hindi mo gusto, speak with your spouse in a way na maco-communicate mo ng maayos at klaro ang punto mo. But never speak with your spouse using a condescending tone na para bang ipinapamukha mo sa kanya na your ideas are better, na you are better.
YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE ARE UNIQUE
May mga desisyon o diskarte man na di kayo napagkakasunduan, okay lang yan. Lahat naman kasi ng tao ay unique, and both of you are not exempted. In fact, your spouse is a gift from God dahil alam Niya na magco-complement ang strengths ng bawat isa sa inyo. Hindi Niya kayo ginawang parehong ma-kwento. Hindi Niya kayo ginawang parehong organized. Hindi Niya kayo ginawang parehong adventurous. But God knows exactly kung anong weaknesses mo, and most probably, yun ang strengths ng asawa mo. Tama ba?
Appreciate one another for having unique perspectives, para may ibang point of view. Uniqueness and differences are present to COMPLEMENT, but not to COMPETE with one another.
Kaya huwag mong i-burden ang sarili mo sa mga diskarte at desisyon na hindi niyo napagkakasunduan ng asawa mo. Because God gave your spouse to you with the ultimate goals and intentions to bless, not to burden, you.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
When your spouse starts to get on your nerves; dahil sa mga diskarte niyang di mo gusto o mga desisyon niya na di kayo magkasundo.
Remember two things: you are a team and you are both unique.
Reminding yourself of these should shift your focus from complaining to thanking God for giving you your spouse.
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Chinkee Tan is a famous motivational speaker in the Philippines. At the same time, he is a husband to his beautiful wife, Nove Ann and a father to three amazing children. He specializes in topics such as personal development, building and strengthening relationships and financial management to name a few. To this day, he continues to inspire thousands of people through his books, free business seminars in the Philippines, social media and being invited to be a motivational corporate speaker to different organizations.
Are you excited to work along side your spouse? You can also read through these related articles on building your relationship:
- Why People Fail In Relationships
- You Are a Team
- DEALING WITH UNSUPPORTIVE SPOUSE
Chinkee Tan is a Wealth Coach, Keynote Speaker, and Best-selling Author on personal finance and wealth management. He has written 16 best-selling books and counting. His mission is to equip millions of Filipinos to be free from financial stress & experience financial freedom.