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How To Improve Parent-Child Relationship: An Open Letter To Parents

CONNECT TO THE HEART NOT ONLY TO THE MIND OBEDIENCE IS A HEART ISSUE

Kamusta ang relationship niyo sa mga anak ninyo? Okay ba ang samahan ninyo?

“Chinkee…minsan okay, minsan hindi.”
“Hindi gaano eh, ganoon ‘ata talaga ‘pag lumalaki na ang mga bata.”
“Ewan ko, ‘di ko sila maintindihan!”

I have three wonderful kids – aged 15, 13, and 11. This is what I???ve discovered: Each family member has a unique personality – with different interests, opinions, and insights.

Kahit bata pa sila, meron na silang sariling gusto at pag-uugali. Hindi niyo maiiwasan na magpalitan ng mga kuro-kuro at magkaroon ng pagtatalo, hidwaan, o hindi pagkakaunawaan minsan.

This is normal.

But when arguments arise, doon na lumalabas ang tunay nilang ugali. Honestly, dumarating na minsan sa point na nagtatanong din ako kung may nangyayari bang hindi maganda sa mga pangaral naming mag-asawa.

Minsan kasi, kahit anong paalala mo, parang walang nangyayari at nagbabago. Pero kahit feeling natin minsan ay wala nang pag-asa pang magkasundo kayo, hindi ka pa rin dapat bumigay at umaayaw.

At the end of the day, anak pa rin natin sila – ipinagkatiwala sila sa atin ng Diyos. In other words, hindi tayo bibigyan ng pagsubok na hindi natin kakayanin. Imbis na sumuko at umayaw, dapat natin ipaglaban. Because I believe there are ways on how to improve our relationship with them.

Paano nga ba?

VIEW IT AS A LEARNING OPPORTUNITY

Sa totoo lang…God gives us children, so we can train them. But sometimes, what happens is the complete opposite.

Hindi ninyo ba napapansin? Na susubukan din ang ating pasensya, karunungan, at kakayahan? Sa totoo lang, tayo ang natra-train…imbis na ang mga anak natin.

VIEW THINGS FROM THE POSITIVE SIDE

Gaya nga ng sinabi ko, ang dali-dali para sa atin na mapansin ang kamalian ng ating mga anak. Imbis na makita lang natin ang mga MALI sa kanilang ginagawa, bakit hindi natin sikapin na hulihin at pansinin ang mga TAMA sa kanilang ginagawa?

“Wow, ang galing mo naman!”
“Ang sipag talaga ng anak ko!”
“Napakapalad namin na ikaw ang naging anak namin.”

Try positive reinforcement, instead of bombarding them with criticisms.
Remember, positive words can bring out positive reactions.

VIEW IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEM

Nag-uusap nga kayo ng anak mo, pero ang tanong: Nakaka-konek ka ba? Iba kasi ‘yung talagang nauunawaan mo ang tunay na damdamin ng iyong anak.

Bawasan natin ang inis at galit kapag nakikipag-usap tayo sa kanila para mas maging open sila. We need to know how to adjust at kung anong pwede nating baguhin para maging open pa tayo sa saloobin ng bawat isa.

VIEW IT AS A BLESSING

Hindi lahat ay nabibiyayaan ng kumpletong set ng pamilya, ng kapatid, ng anak, o ‘di kaya???y nawalan ng magulang ng maaga. My point is, napakaswerte natin sa kung anong meron tayo ngayon na dapat nating ipagpasalamat.

If you see it as a blessing, no matter how hard the challenges are, you reach out to them. Lagi tayong magsumikap in trying to communicate with them, thinking na “sayang ang pagkakataon na ibinigay sa akin just to have them”.

THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.

Bakit magkalayo ang loob niyo ng inyong mga anak?
Have you tried reaching out to them?
If not, what ways can you think of para tumibay ang relationship niyo?

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