Do you consider your marriage to be a battlefield?
Para siyang gyera at walang katahimikan.
How?
BE HONEST
Sa kahit anong relationship, lalong lalo na sa marriage, ang honesty ay necessity. Makikiusap po ako na huwag po natin i-justify ang ating pagsisinungaling.
“Chinkee, lalo lang kami mag-aaway kung malaman ng asawa ko na sinusuportahan ko pa ang kamag-anak ko. OK na ito, at least nakakatulong na ako, tahimik pa kami.”
Oo nga, OK kayo now. Pero paano naman kung mabuking ka at malaman niya? Ano sa palagay mo ang mangyayari?
“Eh di, World War II!”
You may be thinking that being honest is not your first option, but believe me when I say that, HONESTY is the BEST option. Be honest about how you feel or how you view things. Kapag tinatanong ka ng asawa mo kung may problema ka, don’t say na wala kung meron naman talaga.
Be honest pero huwag din magmadali. Isipin mabuti kung paano sasabihin na hindi mao-offend kundi maintindihan at mae-encourage. This is the first and best step in fighting clean in your marriage.
BE FORGIVING
This doesn’t mean that you need to consent the wrongdoings. Ang ibig sabihin lang nito ay you shift your mind from thinking how to get even or to take revenge, and instead think of how to forgive the person who has wronged you and then how to move on.
Getting even will only result in hurting one another and even yourself.
Maniwala ka, mas lalala pa ang sitwasyon kung ang isa man sa inyo ay nagnanais maghiganti. Kaya piliin mo yung kahit hindi ganon kadaling ruta, pero tama: ang matutong magpatawad.
BE ACTIVE
Huwag kang maging passive na tipong tinatanggap mo na lang kung ano ang nangyayari sa marriage mo. Gumawa ka ng mga paraan na makakapag-contribute ng positibo sa inyong buhay mag-asawa.
Fighting clean never means na wala ka na lang dapat gawin para wala na lang gulo. No. You need to actively participate in your marriage kasi dalawang tao ang ikinasal, hindi lang yung mister o misis mo ang nag “I do”. It is all about teamwork.
BE A SERVANT
Pagsilbihan mo ang asawa mo, lalaki ka man o babae. Hindi ko naman sinasabi na magpaka-alipin ka. Ang ibig kong lang sabihin ay, leading must start by serving. If you want to lead your spouse, start by humbly serving him or her.
Remember that great leaders are great servants at hindi lang iyon applicable sa workplace, kundi pati na din sa marriage.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Fight clean in your marriage by:
Being honest.
Being forgiving.
Being active.
Being a servant.
Chinkee Tan is a famous motivational speaker in the Philippines. At the same time, he is a husband to his beautiful wife, Nove Ann and a father to three amazing children. He specializes in topics such as personal development, building and strengthening relationships and financial management to name a few. To this day, he continues to inspire thousands of people through his books, free business seminars in the Philippines, social media and being invited to be a motivational corporate speaker to different organizations.
Did this article help you? You can also check these other related articles on how to protect your marriage:
- DEALING WITH UNSUPPORTIVE SPOUSE
- How can you relate Aldub Phenomenon to Marriage?
- MAHALAGA BA ANG PAYO NG IYONG ASAWA?
Chinkee Tan is a Wealth Coach, Keynote Speaker, and Best-selling Author on personal finance and wealth management. He has written 16 best-selling books and counting. His mission is to equip millions of Filipinos to be free from financial stress & experience financial freedom.