May mga nakausap ka na bang parang walang saysay kausap? Yung minsan gusto mo na lang ihinto yung conversation niyo dahil wala kang mapupulot na kahit ano? Paulit ulit na lang kayo pero wala ka man lang mapiga sa kanya na makabuluhan?
Minsan hindi talaga nating maiiwasan maka-encounter ng mga tao na, sabihin na nating walang kwenta kausap (sorry for the word) because either they are:
Unaffected (Walang paki)
Too defensive (Guilty)
Kung baga we approach them for some reason or because we trust them pero parang wala lang sa kanila. Hindi mo tuloy alam kung sila ba ang tamang tao na dapat lapitan, kung naiinip ba sila sa atin, naghahanap ba sila ng away, or hindi talaga sila interesado at all.
Instead of focusing on them at dagdagan pa lalo yung stress natin dahil sa kanila, here are some practical tips to do to avoid making it worse.
FIRST RULE: NEVER ARGUE
“Hay nako wala ka talagang kwenta kausap!”
“Buti pa yung iba may pakialam samantalang ikaw NR lang.”
“Ang boring mo kausap, wala akong napulot sayo.”
Arguing will not make you win neither will it change them.
Instead na mainis ka, magalit, o mapikon, always keep in mind the differences that you both have to keep you grounded and calm. Change topic na lang, tutal, madami naman kayo pwedeng pag usapan pa o kung wala na, then simply end the conversation politely.
Kung sa tingin mong parati na lang siyang ganito sayo, accept the fact that he or she is impossible to talk to, na kahit anong pilit mo, both of you will never be on the same page because for them what you’re saying doesn’t matter at all.
The single most wasteful thing is try to change others. Tayo na ang mag adjust kaysa sila ang pilitin mo.
Kung tatanggapin mo ito, mas mabilis ka makaka move on sa nangyari.
Investing too much emotion sa isang taong na alam mo naman makaka dagdag lang sayo ng distress is unhealthy.
Invest your time and effort sa mga bagay na makabuluhan at makakatulong sa ibang tao.
Do not allow yourself to get stuck. You have the power to choose.
MAKE AN EFFORT TO FIND WHAT’S GOOD ABOUT HIM/HER
Sabihin na nating mahirap umiwas because either they are a part of your family, ka-trabaho o friend mo siya. Just divert your attention to something that he or she is good at. Hanapin mo yung strengths niya or ano ba yung mga bagay that interests him or her para magkaroon ng magandang relationship.
“Ah, matutulungan niya ako dito kasi may alam siya tungkol sa proseso nito.”
“Kailangan ko sabihin sa kanya ito kasi magaling siya mag-advice pagdating sa money matters.”
“Tanungin ko na lang siya, alam ko kasi may experience na siya dito.”
Iwasan yung mga topics na alam mo na magkakaroon lang kayo ng conflict. Di ba mas simple ang buhay.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Sino yung kilala mong walang sense kausap?
How do you plan to handle this kind of situation next time?
Chinkee Tan is a famous motivational speaker in the Philippines. He specializes in topics such as personal development, building and strengthening relationships and financial management to name a few. To this day, he continues to inspire thousands of people through his books, free business seminars in the Philippines, social media and being invited to be a motivational corporate speaker to different organizations.
Did this article help? You can also check on these related posts on dealing with different people:
- HOW TO DEAL WITH UNREASONABLE PEOPLE
- HOW TO DEAL WITH ‘NEGA’ PEOPLE
- How To Deal With A Rude Person
Chinkee Tan is a Wealth Coach, Keynote Speaker, and Best-selling Author on personal finance and wealth management. He has written 16 best-selling books and counting. His mission is to equip millions of Filipinos to be free from financial stress & experience financial freedom.