Nasabihan ka na bang mukha kang masungit kahit wala ka namang ginagawang masama?
Natanong ka na ba ng “anong problema mo?” kahit sa loob loob mo ay masaya ka naman?
Na-commentan ka na ba ng “taray”, “snob”, o “intimidating?”
If you have experienced this, you are not alone.
As a public figure, hindi ko maiwasan that I get these type of comments from time to time.
Aaminin ko na, minsan kahit wala akong ka effort-effort, ang tingin sa akin ay masungit. First reason is because of my chinito eyes, syempre kung singkit ang iyong mga mata, matalas ang feature. Kung tumingin akala ng iba, masama ang tingin mo sa kanila. Sa totoo lang, nahihirapan lang talaga akong idilat ang aking mga mata, dahil nga sa kaliitan. Kaya may mga taong hirap na hirap akong lapitan kasi akala nila susungitan ko sila.
You can blame your genes dahil sa mga matang akala ng iba ay nang-iirap o kaya dahil sa mga facial expressions na annoying sa iba. But in reality, may magagawa ka, kung gusto mong mabago at mag improve ang iyong pagkatao.
Allow me to share with you kung ano ang mga ginawa kong pagbabago para mabawasan yung image ng pagka sungit.
ALWAYS SMILE
Alam mo ba? It takes 37 muscles to frown. And 22 muscles to smile. So smile, it conserves more energy.
Iba ang nagagawa ng simpleng pag-ngiti. It lightens up your mood and others– mood towards you. Para rin itong invitation na nagsasabing, “Yes, nasa good mood ako at pwede mo akong kausapin.”
Smile makes you look friendly dahil isa rin itong welcome gesture na nagsasabing, “Welcome ka sa personal space ko.”
Also, it is the cheapest thing that you can wear to appear more pleasing to others. You don’t need to invest on expensive clothes or better grooming. All you need to do is to flash that sincere smile at di na matatakot ang mga tao to approach you.
MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT
Kapag ikaw ay kinakausap ng isang tao, try to stop what you are doing and start to listen while looking at him/her in the eyes. Ito ay isang sign na nagsasabing, “I am interested in your story. I am ready to listen.”
Ang pagtingin rin sa mata ng kausap ay ang signal na ikaw ay sincere at maaari kang pagkatiwalaan ng iyong kausap.
Sabi nga, “the eyes are the windows to the soul”. Kung nais mong makilala ang isang tao mula sa kanyang kaibuturan at kung nais mong sabihin na you can be trusted, practice maintaining eye contact.
Make it a goal that you give undivided attention to make the person feel na siya lang talaga ang pinakamahalagang tao at that moment.
GIVE COMPLIMENTS
Huwag kang madamot in giving praises to people. You can say “I appreciate you”, “Good work”, o “You look good today”, etc.
These are some of the expressions na makakatulong para makuha mo ang loob ng iba dahil ine-express mo na you value them.
Giving a compliment is a sign that you appreciate someone or you can see good things in that person. It also sends good vibes to people kaya pare-pareho kayong magiging happy.
Take note that your compliments must be sincere at galing sa puso. Your eagerness to be more approachable must not lead you into being plastik.
BE INTENTIONAL
May mga relationships o friendships that just happen pero kung may struggle ka na you’re always accused of being mataray, it’s better for you to make the first move. Ikaw na ang mag-approach sa tao.
Be intentional in creating relationships. Say “Hello” first. Say “Good morning” first at combo-han mo na rin ng smile.
It will be also helpful that you initiate the conversation. Have friendly topics in mind; yung sa tingin mo ay makaka-relate kayo pareho. Pwedeng about the news, sports, fashion, lovelife, etc.
Important ang mga conversations dahil all relationships start with that.
Sa una magiging full of effort ang pag-overcome ng “taray struggle”, pero dahil sa mga simpleng tips na ito, you will be the most approachable person around.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Ilang ba ang mga tao sa ‘yo?
Sa tingin mo, ano ang dahilan kung bakit ilang sila sa ‘yo?
Ano-ano ang mga dapat mong gawin to be more approachable?
Chinkee Tan is a famous motivational speaker in the Philippines. He specializes in topics such as personal development, building and strengthening relationships and financial management to name a few. To this day, he continues to inspire thousands of people through his books, free business seminars in the Philippines, social media and being invited to be a motivational corporate speaker to different organizations.
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Chinkee Tan is a Wealth Coach, Keynote Speaker, and Best-selling Author on personal finance and wealth management. He has written 16 best-selling books and counting. His mission is to equip millions of Filipinos to be free from financial stress & experience financial freedom.