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Bakit May Mga Makukulit na Kamag-anak?

Nauubos na ba ang pasensiya mo sa mga kamag-anak mo na wala ng ibang ginawa kundi ang:

A) Mangutang ng mangutang sayo.
B) Makialam ng makialam sa buhay mo.
C) Mangulit ng mangulit sayo.

Hindi ka nag-iisa, dahil karamihan sa atin ay may ganun ding napagdaanan.

Minsan ay naiisip mo na bang sumigaw na lang ng, “Pwede ba, tama na! Iba naman ang kulitin mo. Pagod na ako. I need a break!”

Kaya lang sa isip mo lang ito nasasabi dahil hindi naman tama na i-shout out pa ito. Ayaw mo naman maging insensitive at bastos sa loved ones mo.

So ano-ano nga ba ang mga pwede mong gawin para masolusyunan ang problema mo sa mga makukulit mong kamag-anak?

ASSESS YOURSELF
Bago ka mainis sa iyong mga kamag-anak; bago ka sumabog na parang bulkang Mayon at bago mo tawagin ang iyong mga kapwang mga Katipunero, para sugurin sila at ipagsigawan kung gaano sila kakulit, bakit hindi na muna natin kausapin ang ating sarili?

“Bakit ka ba naaapektuhan sa kanila?”
“Pinahintulutan mo ba sila na inisin ka?”
“Nakaka-apekto ka na ba in a negative way dahil sa kanilang kakulitan?”

If yes, tanungin mo ang iyong sarili na kung may choice ka na tumanggi or wala ka talagang choice? Sad to say, kadalasan yung mga stress na nararamdaman natin ay ating pinahihintulutan. So we have no one else to blame but ourselves.

Why don’t you do some self-reflection? Spend time by yourself. This will give you the opportunity to evaluate and find the right mindset on how to deal with them.

CONTROL ONLY THE THINGS THAT YOU CAN
Hindi mo hawak ang utak ng mga kamag-anak mo, kaya hindi mo sila pwedeng diktahan kung ano ang kanilang sasabihin at gagawin. Kung nakukulitan ka na sa paulit-ulit nilang pangungutang, ano ang gagawin mo? Papautangin mo pa din ba? O magiging firm ka at titiisin mo sila dahil alam mong hindi ka na nakakatulong sa kanila, dahil sila ay parating umaasa.

Kung nakukulitan ka na sa pakikialam nila, ano ang gagawin mo? Susundin mo ba ang decision nila o magiging firm ka sa decision mo at nagpapasalamat ka na sa kanilang mungkahi at paninindigan mo na lang ang decision mo?

Acknowledge that there are things that you can control, and there are things that you cannot. Dapat alam mo kung ano-ano ang mga bagay na sakop ng iyong kontrol at ano ang mga hindi. Mas magiging madali kasi para sayo na makipag-deal sa mga kamag-anak mo na makukulit kapag alam mo na hindi mo man kontrol ang kakulitan nila, may kontrol ka naman kung paano ka makitungo sa kanila.

THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.

Bago ka sumabog dahil sa kakulitan ng kamag-anak mo ay mag-self reflect ka muna.

Itong stress na nararamdaman mo ngayon, ito ba ay dahil sa kakulitan ng mga kamag-anak mo o pinahihintulutan mo na maapektuhan ka nila?

Panahon na para pumili.
Panahon na para manindigan.
Panahon na para protektahan mo naman ang iyong sarili.

And at the end of the day, you will be thankful dahil hindi mo hinayaan na ma-stress ka sa kakulitan ng mga kamag-anak mo which you don???t have control over.

Control the Things You Can and Let Go of the Things You Cant

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