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Ano Ba Ang Iniisip Mo?

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Have you ever felt the need to question your spouse’s state of mind because of the mistakes he or she did in the past?
Gusto mo ba siyang komprontahin sa mga sablay na desisyon na nagawa niya?
Di mo na ba mapigilan ang sarili mo and you’re on the verge of unconsciously kicking your spouse’s ego?

We know everyone make mistakes.
No one is perfect.

If we already know this at the first place, how come we can be so unforgiving if our spouse makes mistakes?

Masyado mataas yung standard natin at ine-expect natin sa ating asawa. Nagiinit ang ating mga ulo kapag sila ay nagkakamali. Natural na sa atin na makita ang mali ng ating kapwa maging ng ating asawa, pero hindi naman natin napupuna yung ating pagkakamali. Tila bulag tayo sa ating sariling pagkukulang o pagkakamali.

Ang ibig mo bang sabihin ay hayaan na lang natin yung pagkakamali?

Hindi ko naman sasabihin na dapat magpawalang bahala ka, hindi rin naman ito tama.

“E Chinkee, ano ang dapat gawin kung wala na nagawang tama ang asawa ko?”

I have two things to share na pwede mong gawin kung yan ang sitwasyon na kinakaharap mo.

Una,

CORRECT YOUR SPOUSE IN A LOVING MANNER

Tatayming ka, huwag mong siyang kausapin kung naiinis ka o galit.
Kahit maganda ang gusto mong sabihin, may mali ka parin masasabi.

Once na lumamig na ang ulo mo, daanin mo sa lambing, hindi sa inis at galit.

You can say something like this…

???Mahal, pwede ba magbigay ng personal observation, napapansin ko lang lately na masyado ka na nagpupuyat at hindi maganda yan sa iyong kalusugan, maaga ka pa bukas, baka kailangan mo na ipahinga yan.???

Instead of saying, ???Matulog ka na! Kung magkasakit ka, ako na naman ang mahihirapan at gagastos na naman tayo!???

Kung mahilig naman maglaro ng computer yung asawa mo…

???Mahal ok lang na mag-laro ka ng computer, alam ko ng kailangan mo rin ng ???me??? time. Ok lang ba? Kung unahin muna natin ang ating prayer time with the family para makatulog na rin ang mga bata????

Instead of saying, ???Ano ba ang priority mo, computer games mo o pamilya mo????

So in other words, be careful, be gracious and be wise in expressing your feeling and sentiments toward your spouse.

OK lang naman na pansinin ang pagkakamali ng iyong asawa, ngunit dapat maging maingat kung paano ito sasabihin. Kaya nga may kasabihan, ???it is not what you say but how you say it???.

Address the problem but also be careful how you address it. Huwag kang harsh sa asawa mo kung kakausapin mo siya tungkol sa problema niya. Huwag mo siyang sisigawan. Huwag mo siyang kakausapin in a way na pinapa-feel mo sa kanya that he or she is worthless. Approach your spouse in a manner na nararamdaman niya na mahalaga siya sayo, na mahal mo siya kaya mo siya itinatama sa kanyang pagkakamali.

Pangalawa,

CORRECT YOUR SPOUSE PRIVATELY

May mga pagkakataon na di natin mapigilan ang ating mga sarili so we tend to discipline our spouse even in public. That is a big no-no. Never correct or “discipline” your spouse in front of anyone, kahit pa na super sablay ang kanyang nagawa o nasabi. Kung gawin mo kasi yun in front of other people ay para mo siyang dini-disrespect. Your spouse is not a child that you should discipline with an audience. Even children needs to be disciplined privately (but that’s another topic to discuss) so why do it to your spouse?

Kahit anong mangyari, RESPECT & HONOR one another.
Walang bastusan!

THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.

Respect for your spouse should be intact kahit na may sablay na nagawa ang asawa mo. Your spouse???s mistakes does not give you the license to judge him/her.
Besides, we are all human–we all make mistakes.

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