I WAS A VICTIM OF BULLYING

Have you ever been a victim of bullying?
Have you been a victim of name calling?
Have anyone intentionally humiliated you in front of others?

Going to school or work should be fun. It should not hurt and become stressful. I can still remember when I was around 10 to 12 years of age. I was often teased and was a victim of name-calling. They would tease me as “Pandak” or “Shorty”. Since I admit I am not blessed by height, this caused a lot of hurt and insecurity on my end. Unfortunately, the bullies just never seemed to stop.

Before we even talk about bullying, we need to understand: what is bullying? According to Wikipedia, bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others.

Being bullied in school, office, and organization or by a group of people can be one of the most painful and humiliating things that anyone can experience. You will feel useless or sense that you are being treated as an outcast or a sore thumb in the team or group.

The first thing to avoid being bullied is not to become one. Some people are not conscious that they are already bordering to bullying others.

Types of Bullying:

PHYSICAL
This may include simply pushing or physically harming a person. Simply playfully poking or touching people on the sensitive part of their bodies can sometimes be considered as sexual harassment already.

VERBAL
This can be using words that can hurt or destroy one’s name and reputation. Name-calling can be also another form. Using coarse joking and making fun of others at other people’s expense, insulting or humiliating people in front of others, and anything that can cause emotional pain is considered verbal bullying.

RELATIONAL
Some will use their influence or relationship to coerce someone to do things against the person’s will. This is what some people would call emotional blackmail: “Do you remember I helped you before?” “If it wasn’t for my help, you won’t be where you are today!” “What are friends or relatives for?”

SOCIAL MEDIA
Ranting, harassing, embarrassing, or posting either photos or words with the intent of humiliating others over the world wide web is called cyber bullying. How many times have we heard of horrific and sad stories of teenagers who ended their life or took away other people’s lives because of cyber bullying?

RACIAL, RELIGIOUS, POLITICAL OR SOCIAL
Judging others based on their social status, religious belief, political affiliations, or colour of their skin is wrong and very prejudicial. If you do not want to be judged, make sure you don’t prejudge others.

REMINDER:
Do not blame yourself for being bullied. You did not cause and ask for this. The issue is the bully, not you. Bullies are usually insecure people. They just hide their weaknesses and insecurities by hurting or pulling others down. Do not entertain the idea that you brought this to yourself and that you deserve it. No one deserves it. Not even the bully deserves to be bullied.

PROVE THEM WRONG
The sweetest revenge is to prove your bullies wrong. Work or study harder than anyone else does. Do not even think about what others might say. Just focus on doing what you can by giving your best.

LOOK FOR A SUPPORT GROUP
Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your skills, attitudes, and abilities. Seek the wisdom of others and ask for practical advice on which things you should be doing.

REPORT THE BULLY TO YOUR SUPERIORS
Speak to people with authority like your teachers, guidance counsellors, parents, or those in the HR department. If the bully is the head himself, you either accept it or change it. Remember, what you tolerate in life will never change. Learn how to fight back without any physical violence. Yes, you have the power to overcome.

ASK GOD TO GIVE YOU COURAGE AND WISDOM
Have the courage to confront these bullies. Gain wisdom on how to talk to them and make a stand and say you are not willing to give the bullies the pleasure of using you as their doormats.

If you are reading this and you’re being bullied. It is time to take action and regain your dignity. Learn how to fight back by fighting smart.

-Chinkee Tan, Filipino Motivational Speaker