When a friend comes to us dahil may problema sila
how do we react to it?
Tayo ba yung:
a. “Sige kuwento ka lang, makikinig ako.”
b. “Aw, okay lang ‘yan. Tara, kain na lang tayo.”
c. “Huwag mo na kausapin ‘yan, period!”
d. Oh basta ito ang gawin mo ah…”
A and B?
C and D?
Bakit, ano ba ang difference?
Yung A and B is more on the listening side
At yung C and D naman is more of giving an advice
— And that’s okay.
Pero come to think of it,
sila ba ay talagang nanghihingi ng advice
or AKALA lang natin kailangan nila?
Iba kasi yung nagbibigay ng advice dahil
nanghihingi sila, iba din naman yung dinidiktahan
na natin yung tao just because we want it our way.
Ang tawag diyan?
UNSOLICITED ADVICE.
Ito yung pinupush natin yung gusto natin
kahit hindi naman nila kailangan or
para lang matapos na yung usapan.
We always think kasi na nasa ating mga kamay
ang kasagutan when in fact, they might just need
our ears and shoulders — yun lang wala ng iba.
Even if it’s them or us ang
nangangailangan ng kaibigan na makikinig lang
ano ba yung pwede nating gawin
when we’re being given an unsolicited advice?
CONSIDER THEIR INTENTIONS advice
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Let’s think bakit kaya sila nagbibigay ng advice?
I’m sure, if they are a family member or a friend,
it’s mostly because they are concerned.
Iniisip lang nila na since gulong-gulo
tayo at the moment, BAKA kailangan lang natin
ng suggestions or opinions for us to have options
to consider para luminaw ang isipan.
Huwag natin sila kaagad husgahan.
We came to them because we need them.
Hindi naman nila alam exactly kung ano
gusto natin, all they know is that they want to help.
MAKINIG AT PASALAMATAN SILA advice
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The fact that they are concerned with us
is something to be thankful for.
“Eh ayoko nung suggestion n’ya.”
“Mapapahamak lang ako sa gusto niyang mangyari.”
“Hay nako, dami na namang sinasabi nito..”
Hindi naman porket nagsabi sila ng advice
eh ibig sabihin gagawin na natin ito.
Dapat nga magpasalamat tayo na
nagmamalasakit sila sa atin kaya
ano ba naman yung simpleng “Salamat” ‘di ba?
Maybe we don’t need it for now,
but at least give them the respect
and appreciation that they deserve.
KUNG AYAW, SAY IT IN A NICE WAY advice
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After we have listened, be kind enough to say:
“Thank you, I will consider that.”
“Sige pag-iisipan ko ‘yan, salamat ah.”
“Mukhang maganda ‘yan, i-check ko.”
Gano’n lang.
Huwag natin sila ipagtulakan
dahil lang sa hindi tayo open sa sinasabi nila.
One way or another, may mapupulot tayo dito,
maybe not that specific but at least
kahit paano magkakaroon tayo ng realization.
“Ay kaya pala niya sinabi yun kasi….”
“Oo nga noh, parang may point.”
“Ah baka ibig niya sabihin ganito…”
“Nagmamalasakit lang siya sa ‘kin.”
“Kapag may nag offer ng advice, magpasalamat at i-appreciate dahil
gusto lang nila tumulong at bigyan tayo ng payapang isip.”
-Chinkee Tan, Filipino Motivational Speaker
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
- Who’s that one person that is currently giving us an advice?
- Do we shut them out or napasalamatan naman natin sila?
- How will you tell them kung hindi natin kailangan ng advice at the moment?
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