Ikaw ba ay mabilis ma-distract?
Yun bang ang haba na ng sinabi sayo, tapos pauulitin mo dahil hindi ka naka focus?
May iba siguro sa atin na kahit gustuhin man natin ifocus ang atensyon sa kanila ay hirap na hirap tayo; at tila parang cell phone na mababa ang signal kaya na di-disconnect tuwing may conversation.
Gusto mo bang malaman kung bakit kaya may mga taong hindi maka-focus?
Ikaw ba ay isang tao na mainipin?
O gusto mo na matapos agad ang pinaguusapan niyo?
O kating kati ka na sumabat habang nagsasalita siya?
Paano nga ba maging isang good listener? How do we listen without distractions bothering us?
LISTEN MORE THAN TALKING
Aminin man natin o hindi, we have the tendency to think ahead kung ano ang sasabihin ng tao? Do you have the tendency na tapusin yung sentence ng ibang tao? Do you also have the tendency to jump into conclusions kahit hindi pa tapos ang kwento ng kausap mo?
If you are guilty, it means that you need to practice more to become a good listener.
When it comes to communication we need to develop patience.
We need to have the patience to understand and assess the situation before we make any conclusion. Kaya nga, God gave us two ears but only one mouth. God wants us to listen more rather than talk more.
PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SITUATION
Isipin mo muna na “Kung ako ang nasa kalagayan niya, ano kaya ang mararamdaman ko?” Para mas maging objective ka at mas ma-feel mo ang tunay na nangyayari at kung ano ang kanyang pinang-gagalingan.
Para kung kailangan mong magbigay ng opinyon sa kanila, you can give it from their point of view and not from yours.
STOP GIVING IMMEDIATE ADVICE
Minsan hindi naman talaga nila kailangan ng advice o solusyon kaagad. Maaring gusto lang nila mag-release ng stress o mag-vent out ng sama ng loob, so let them be.
For some people, all they need for the time being is for someone to listen to them. People who are stressed out just want to vent out. Gusto lang nila i-release ang kanilang tension.
Tignan mo muna ang sitwasyon. Kung may suggestion ka, keep it to yourself first at kapag hiningi na ang advice mo, that’s the time you speak. Make sure that you’re objective, gentle, and neutral.
LEARN TO EMPATHIZE
It takes a good listener to know when to sympathize with the person in need. Siya yung marunong maging sensitive sa feelings ng iba by observing what he/she might need at the moment.
Whenever the person is telling a story, you can express sensitivity and interest by:
- Nodding your head
- Looking them in the eyes
- Holding the person’s hand
- Saying comforting words
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Ah ganun ba, naku.”
A good listener knows how to connect with the person.
Kusa itong lalabas sayo kapag naging natural na sa iyo ang pagtulong at pakikinig.
Being a good listener allows you to see what’s inside their hearts.
Dahil din dito, mas lalawak din ang pangunawa mo sa sitwasyon ng iba…mas may tendency kang makatulong o mapagaan ang kalooban ng kaibigan mo o mahal sa buhay by just listening to them.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
May mga kaibigan ka bang may problema sa ngayon?
Paano mo sila tinutulungan?
Nakinig ka ba talaga sa kanilang problema?
Chinkee Tan is a famous motivational speaker in the Philippines. At the same time, he is a husband to his beautiful wife, Nove Ann and a father to three amazing children. He specializes in topics such as personal development, building and strengthening relationships and financial management to name a few. To this day, he continues to inspire thousands of people through his books, free business seminars in the Philippines, social media and being invited to be a motivational corporate speaker to different organizations.
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