“Ang yabang-yabang niya. Wala naman binatbat.”
“Parati na lang siyang tama.”
“Bakit siya na lang ang napapansin.”
“Mahal pa ba niya ako? Bakit hindi na niya ako masyadong kinakausap?”
Jealousy gives you the feeling of being inferior. There is an anxiety over someone or something, and fear that you can’t have it. Jealousy can strike anyone; young and old, from a child being jealous of another child’s toy; siblings trying to compete for their parents love and attention; a teenager jealous of the attention her classmate is getting; to a couple who can be jealous of a third-party threat to their relationship.
Jealousy; if left unchecked can bring harm not only to the person who has the problem, but also to the people they loved and cared for.
Jealousy can give you the feeling of insecurity, fear of loss, fear of rejection, and fear of being unwanted.
Jealousy is just like having an emotional cancer. It kills the person slowly without them knowing it.
It prevents you to live a happy and fulfilled life. Jealousy just reveals the real condition of person’s well-being.
The tendency to look at the things you don’t have rather than what you have, to bring down others; are just some of the things a jealous person feels.
“So, how can I avoid feeling jealous?”
BE SECURE WITH YOURSELF
Security starts by learning how to accept yourself. Accept who you are; your strengths and weakness; your beauty and your flaws; your ups and downs in life.
Don’t be too critical and hard on yourself.
If you learn how to accept yourself, you learn also how to accept others. You will learn how to love who you are and not what you are going to be.
Since you love and accepted yourself; there is no reason for you to feel insecure. There is no point of comparing yourself to others.
Have a journal of the good things that are happening in your life. Learn how to count your blessing. Never focus on the things that you don’t have; but look at the things that are with you. Find contentment in what you have and you will reap a harvest of abundant peace and joy.
BE SECURE WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS
When you come into a relationship; the goal is not to take, but to give. Relationship is not one way; the process is two-way; give and take.
If you are sure and secure about yourself; you are mentally and emotionally stable. Some people do not treat you well; some don’t even value the relationship you have built; some may take you for granted, and never appreciate what you have done for them; then, self-pity comes in.
Never allow them to take away your joy. You need to understand that you are whole and complete.
BE SECURE WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD
You should understand that you are special and unique; there is none like you. God created you differently that you don’t have to compare yourself with others.
A measuring stick is not needed to show that you outdone and outperformed others. Learn that even if other people do not accept you; there is God who will never leave your side. He walks with you through your ups and downs. To Him you are His wonderful creation.
You do not need to live for the acceptance and applause from men; your purpose is to honour and please God in your life. “Everything is well and I feel secure because I know deep in my heart that God accepts me for what I am and who I will become.”
If you start changing your perspective; you will start noticing improvements on how you view things. This includes seeing and feeling yourself and others. You will feel more secure, confident and accomplished. You will become a whole person; not prone to destructive and jealous thoughts.
THINK. REFLECT. APPLY.
Please take time and be honest with yourself while answering the following questions:
“Why am I jealous over this?”
“What is making me jealous?”
“What am I trying to protect or keep?”
“Why do I feel threatened”
“Does this person have an attitude problem?”
“Do I have a problem?”
-Chinkee Tan, Filipino Motivational Speaker
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